January 28th 2023. San Antonio, Texas. Alamodome. WWE Royal Rumble 2023. The clock hit zero. The buzzer went off. Number 16 made her long run to the ring. Tegan Nox was ready to pull hair from the nose. She entered the ring with flash, smashing Rhea Ripley twisty boy style with a Molly Go Round from the top rope. Time for a running uppercut party. In the corner to rival Xia Li. Over to the opposite with one to Dakota Kai who crashed into IYO SKY. Another to Xia. One to Zoey Stark who was in the corner across from Xia. Yet another to Xia.

Nox changed her offense up, delivering the Wild Boar cannonball to Kai and SKY. Xia got dropped with a gourdbuster. It looked like Nox was going to deliver another gourdbuster, this time to Dakota, but instead nearly cracked Kai's head open with a knee strike on her way down.

Tegan and her Shiny and Sparkles mate Liv Morgan would join forces. Morgan used Nox as a launch pad to deliver a codebreaker to Stark. Nox struck Stark with The Shiniest Wizard. They managed to get Zoey over the top rope but Stark hung on and fell to the apron to save herself. Morgan and Nox would shift their attention to the arrival of the next entrant. It was Asuka returning in frightening, even deadlier Kana form. Asuka struck down Liv and Tegan. This evil clown would make Pennywise piss his pants.

Nox recovered, catching Asuka in the corner with a running uppercut. Asuka caught Nox's next attempt, bringing her to the canvas with a backslide. Nox shot back with a superkick. Tegan came at Asuka who pulled the top rope downward. Nox flung over but hung onto the top rope to remain on the apron. Only briefly. Asuka waffled Nox to the floor with a roundhouse kick.

It wasn't a long night for The Girl With The Shiniest Wizard. But for Tegan Nox it was still a good showing in her second Royal Rumble Match. Assuming her rivalry with Xia Li is in the past, who will be next to find themselves on The Absolute Unit's list? It doesn't really matter. Come one and come all. Tegan Nox is going to shine you all up and wizard you out!